Subject: Little Yonie (the Jewish version of Little Johnny?) 

Little Yonie comes home from first grade and tells his father that they learned about the history 
of Valentine's Day. 

"Since Valentine's day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," he asks, "will God get mad at 
me for giving someone a valentine?" 

Yonie's father thinks and the replies, "No, I don't think God would get angry in that situation 
because it's an expression of love. Who do you want to give a valentine to?" 

"Osama Bin Laden," Yonie says. 

"Why Osama Bin Laden?" his father asks in shock. 

"Well," Yonie says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish boy could have enough love to 
give Osama a valentine, he might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe he'll 
start loving people a little bit. And if other kids saw what I did and sent valentines to Osama, 
he'd love everyone a lot. And then he'd start going all over the place to tell everyone how much 
he loved them and how he didn't hate anyone anymore." 

His father's heart swells and he looks at his boy with newfound pride. "Yonie, that's the most 
wonderful thing I've ever heard."

"I know," Yonie says, "and once that gets him out in the open, the Marines could blow the shit 
out of him."