What do you call 100 rabits walking backwards?
a receding hare-line

what is a fish's favorite TV show?
name that tuna

What do you find in pig shopping malls?
pork shops

What did the old lightbulb say to the new lightbulb?
"You're to young to go out tonight"

When's a boxer like a astronomer?
when he sees stars

what do you call a owl that has armor on?
a knight owl

What do you call a monkey that loves to eat potato chips?
a chip-monk

Why is the sun like a black eye?
because they both shine

What is a vampire's favorite vacation spot?
Cape cod

How do you cut a wave?
with a seasaw

What do two termites say when they see a house on fire?
"Barbecue tonight?"

Why did the donut go to the dentist?
it needed a chocolate filling

Why does time fly?
it's trying to get away from all the people trying to kill it

How did the water knnow it was going down the drain?
it had a sinking feeling

What is green and makes holes?
a drill pickle

Why was the groom sad at his wedding?
he was not the best man

Why is your nose in the middle of your face?
it is the scenter

What kind of flowers are perfect for mothers day?
Chrysanthe-moms

What is put on a table, cut but never eaten?
A deck of cards

Why did the kitten want to be a nurse?  
She wanted to be a first aid kit

When is dawn not daybreak?  
When it's someone's name 
 
 
What does a camel wear in the desert?  
Camel-flouge 
 
 
Why is the cat afraid of the tree?  
Because of its bark 
 
 
How do you keep cool at a ball game?  
Sit by a fan 

What did one campfire say to the other campfire?
Let' s go out one of these days 

What did the judge say to the skunk?
Odor in the court

What does a bird get when it gets hurt?
Medical tweet-ment

Three people were standing under an umbrella with a hole in it. Who got wet?  
Nobody, it wasn't raining 

What did one math book say to the other?
I have a lot of problems

why are the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights then

What did the beaver say to the tree?
it's been nice gnawing you

What do you call a dream where animals are attacking you?
a bitemare

Why did the skeleton stay home on the night of the dance?
Because he had no body to go with him