The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and internal 
injuries from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71. The graveside was 
piled high with flours. A longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the 
eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. 
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with 
turnovers. He was not considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his 
dough on half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he even 
still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions. 

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities 
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, 
Captain Crunch, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and the California 
Raisins. 

Doughboy is survived by his wife, PlayDough, two children, John Dough and 
Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his 
elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.