Rule #1: When in doubt -- buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. 
I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many 
cordless drills. No one knows why. 

Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy him anything with the word ratchet or socket 
in it. Men love saying those words: "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?" "OK. By-the-way, are 
you through with my 3/8 inch socket yet?" Again, no one knows why. 

Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car, a 99-cent ice scraper, a 
small bottle of deicer or something to hang from his rearview mirror. Men love gifts for their 
cars. No one knows why. 

Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy men bathrobes. Once I was told 
that if God had wanted men to wear bathrobes, he wouldn't have invented Jockey shorts. 

Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they have worn out. If you have 
a lot of money, buy your man a big-screenTV with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go 
wild as he flips, and flips, and flips. No one knows why. 

Rule #6: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or deodorant. I'm told men 
do not smell. They are just earthy. 

Rule #7: Buy men label makers. Almost as good as cordless drills. Within a couple of weeks there 
will be labels absolutely everywhere. "Socks. Shorts.Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get the 
idea, No one knows why. 

Rule #8: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required" on the box. It will ruin his 
Special Day and he will always have parts left over. 

Rule #9: Good places to shop for men include Harbor Freight Tools, Lowe's, and Home Depot. 
John Deere, Valley RV Center, NAPA Auto Parts and Sears Clearance Centers are also excellent 
men's stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh? Must be 
something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane? Wow! Thanks." No one knows why. 

Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook -- but they will barbecue. Get him a monster
 barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank. Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! 
Who 
wants a hamburger?" 

Rule #11: Men love chain saws. But, never, ever, buy a man you love a chain saw. If you don't know 
why-please refer to Rule #7 and what happens when he gets a label maker. 

Rule #12: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum extension ladder. Never buy a 
real man a stepladder. It must be an extension ladder. No one knows why.