God Save the Queen! And the Queen Mum's collarbone!

We gratefully accept your generous offer to resume gavernance of these colonies after a shameful 
gap of some 213 years. Your departure after Yorktown to deal with the Froggies and the halfhearted 
attempt in 1812 to alter the architecture of the White Houes were understandab;e but you really 
left us in the lurch.

I must say that we should have a smooth transition back into the fold given that the weather there 
has come to resemble that of the US Gulf coast with torential rains, tornadoesm trailer houses 
(or are thay caravans) tossed about. Wnd, I'm so proud that your political system has become more 
familiar to us since Tony and Bill shared that bong load and found common ground. Plus the opposition 
is united in clueless meandering. We shall feel welcome indeed.

We do have a bit of petrol left, at attractive prices, and thus far no queuing or impediments to 
delivery. If you wish, I suppose we could have a few demonstrators available for rapid deployment. 
But, tey would have to drive their SUV beasts to the locale. (And, talk on their cell phones while 
applying makeup, reading the news, weaving, etc.)

Could you please explain Cricket and why we should give a merde?

The last tea you sent was ruined by Indians and the scones are stale. Provisions (messages?) Please. 
But, not that bitter orange marmalade and definitely not Vegimite. What the hell are they thinking 
in Oz.

Do we have to become more like Canadians, eh? I have ablubber eating contest scheduled for Tuesday 
and we're freezing the pond fo some Canadian Flatball.

We have decided to convert to the right side of the road, the left. Lorries will convert on 
November 20 and private vehicles on November 23. Hollywodd will film on the 21st & 22nd for some 
stock footage when Mel Gibson needs it. What the hell is he anyway? A "mate", a "bloke", ar a 
"dude"? And russell Crowe while we're at it.

Do I have to give up tacos and barbeque?

My doctor wants to know about golf. He's played all the local courses and owns a few of them. 
Can he bring his turbodeisel golf cart over and plow St. Andrews? Thin out the Japanese a little 
bit, if you think about it.

This is very exciting. Are you guys still doing that Austin Powers thing? Can I get a Mini Cooper? 
Do you want Marilyn Manson or can we just shoot him?

Cheers.