APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by  financial statement, 
parents financial statement,  job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician, 
along with three (3) forms of pictured ID.

1.  What is you name, age, social security number, IQ and boy scout rank.?_____________________________

2.  Do you have one male and one female parent?______________________
     If "NO" explain: __________________________________________________________________________

3.  Do you own or have access to a van? _______

4.  A truck with oversize tires?________

5.  Waterbed?_______

6.  Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring?_________

7.  Do you have a tattoo? ________

If you have answered YES to #3,#4,#5, discontinue application and leave immediately!

8.   In fifty words or less, what does LATE mean to you?

9.   In fifty words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?

10. In fifty words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

11. In fifty words or less, what does REAL PAIN mean to you?

12. Church/Temple you attend? ________________________

13. How often do you attend? _________________________

14. When would be the best time to interview you mother, father, grandparents (if still living) 
employer and              priest/rabbi?        _____________________________________________

15. Please fill in the blanks:
      If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my ___________.
      If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my _______________.
      The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask _____________________
      When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is ____________________.
NOTE: If the answer to the last question begins with "T" or "A" discontinue and leave premises-keeping 
your head low and running in a serpentine fashion.

16. What do you want to be IF you grow up.

17. Polygraph test results  _____________

18. Drug test results         _____________

   If failure is recorded on #17 or #18 run, run as fast as you can and do not look back!

I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, 
bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.
Signature of applicant                       ___________________________
Signature of father                             ___________________________
Signature of mother                           ___________________________
Signature of priest/rabbi                   ___________________________
Signature of State Representative  ___________________________
Signature of Notary Public              ___________________________


 Thank you for your interest, and it have better be genuine and non-sexual.  Please allow 4-6 years for 
processing.  You will be contacted in writing if approved.  If denied, please never ever apply again. Do 
not call, we will call you!